~On my owN~

2011-02-20T15:04:00.003Z

those words,

in my own voice...

and it hit me back on my nose...

and wasn't i supposed to have learned it by now?

so now i know how others may have felt when i say those words...

2011-02-19T17:13:00.002Z

transition towards the new phase..

loadsa changes in one shot..

i've started to feel the heat.

hope that everything will be made easy for me, insyaallah..

p.s : congratulations on ur first job! u've nailed it! all the best in making it a better success! :)

2011-02-13T18:49:00.002Z

dedicated to my special someone...

"u mean the world to me"

2011-02-11T14:01:00.002Z

standing still in the middle of a group of passer by..

....and i'm still here despite the others moving..

"everything's just going on too fast,

or am i the one who's too slow?"

2011-02-09T14:20:00.002Z

.......and she said yes!

i wish her all the happiness in the world :)

sweet dream

2010-10-17T00:56:00.000+01:00

luv the house in the video..

wished i had one :)

wished i could be .........

but life's never a fairytale..

pesanan buat si dia...

2010-10-08T00:40:00.003+01:00

tolong beritahu si dia,

aku ada pesanan buatnya...

tolong beritahu si dia,

cinta agung adalah cintaNya.

tolong beritahu si dia,

cinta manusia bakal membuatnya alpa.

tolong nasihati si dia,

jangan menyintaiku lebih dari dia menyintai

Yang Maha Esa.

"Ya Allah , jika aku jatuh cinta,

cintakanlah aku pada seseorang yang

melabuhkan cintanya padaMu

agar bertambah kekuatanku untuk mencintaiMu.

Ya Muhaimin, jika aku jatuh hati,

izinkanlah aku menyentuh hati

seseorang yang hatinya tertaut padaMu

agar tidak terjatuh aku

kedalam jurang cinta nafsu.

Ya Rabbana, jika aku jatuh hati,

jagalah hatiku padanya,

agar tidak berpaling dari hatiMu."

tolong nasihati si dia,

jangan mengingatiku lebih dari dia mengingati

Yang Maha Kuasa.

tolong nasihati si dia,

jangan mendoakan diriku

lebih dari dia mendoakan ibu bapanya.

tolong katakan pada si dia,

dahulukan Allah kerana disitu ada syurga.

tolong katakan pada si dia,

dahulukan ibu bapanya kerana ditelapak itu syurganya.

tolong ingatkan si dia,

aku terpikat kerana imannya bukan rupa.

tolong ingatkan si dia,

aku lebih cintakan zuhudnya bukan harta.

tolong ingatkan si dia,

aku kasihinya kerana santunnya

tolong tegur si dia,

bila dia mula mengagungkan cinta manusia.

tolong tegur si dia,

bila dia tenggelam dalam angan-angannya.

tolong tegur si dia,

andai nafsu mengawal fikirannya.

tolong sedarkan si dia,

aku milik Yang Maha Esa.

tolong sedarkan si dia,

aku masih milik keluarga

tolong sedarkan si dia,

tanggungjawabnya besar pada keluarganya.

tolong sabarkan si dia,

andai diri ini enggan dirapati

kerana menjaga batasan cinta.

tolong sabarkan si dia,

bila jarak menjadi penyebab bertambah rindunya.

sesungguhnya rindu itu kurniaan dari Allah padanya.

tolong pesan padanya,

aku tidak mahu menjadi fitnah besar kepadanya.

tolong pesan padanya,

aku tidak mahu menjadi punca kegagalannya.

tolong pesan padanya,

aku membiarkan Yang Esa menjaga dirinya.

tolong khabarkan pada si dia,

aku tidak mahu melekakan dia.

tolong khabarkan pada si dia,

aku mahu dia berjaya dalam impian dan cita-citanya.

tolong khabarkan pada si dia,

jadilah penyokong dalam kejayaanku.

tolong sampaikan pada si dia,

aku mendambakan cinta suci yang terjaga.

tolong sampaikan pada si dia

cinta kerana Allah tidak ternilai harganya.

tolong sampaikan pada si dia,

hubungan ini terjaga selagi

dia menjaga hubungan dengan Yang Maha Kuasa.

tolong sampaikan pada si dia,

KERANA AKU TIDAK MAMPU MEMBERITAHUNYA SENDIRI.

CINTA

lahirnya dari dua hati,

hadirnya tanpa dipaksa...

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku,

telah datang kepadaku

seorang insan yang mengetuk pintu hati ini.

sekiranya dia adalah jodohku yang terbaik,

yang telah engkau tetapkan buatku,

sejak dari kandungan ibuku lagi,

maka permudahkanlah segala urusanku,

permudahkanlah urusan si dia,

dan permudahkanlah urusan kami berdua.

lindungilah Imanku Ya Allah

lindungilah Iman dia Ya Allah

dan lindungilah Iman kami berdua sepanjang perhubungan ini.

Ya Allah Ya Rahman,

Ya Allah Ya Rahim....

the heart song~

2010-09-28T09:14:00.004+01:00

free music downloads | music videos | pictures

it's been long since i last have this kind of feeling.. a weird feeling that's undescribable. nae joahae :) hearing this kind of music makes my heart feel alive..and i'm absolutely enjoying this feeling i'm having right now!

the tears..

2010-08-24T02:56:00.000+01:00

today,

i hear him cry...quietly...

seems like i can feel the sadness that he felt..

it must be shocking for him,

having to know that a friend of his left this world so suddenly..

at this age, who'd ever thought that this kind of thing can happen.

but Allah knows best and only He knows what He's planned for us...

i might not know this guy,

but somehow i can feel that he's a good person.

i even envied him for having so many friends who really cared for him,

that made me think, if the same happens to me,

will there even be anyone who will care for me,

or even just remember me in their prayers....

quote of the day

2010-08-09T05:02:00.003+01:00

“Communication. It’s the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need.”

—Meredith Grey

this is me, like it or not...

2010-08-07T06:13:00.004+01:00

dear diary,

i have a confession to make. i am a very dependent person. i am. no matter how much i tried not to be, it never succeed. i am born as one. i was raised the way that make me became what i am today.

lately, things are getting out of hand (my hands to be exact). i guess i'm getting too comfortable being around him that i never actually think if anything that comes from my mouth would make him feel restricted. i never meant for it to be that way, but i'm just trying to be honest. Sometimes i just cant understand how he thinks, what he's thinking, what are his plans. all these time, i've been thinking about where our future might lead us, and i've been making preparations of what's within my capabilities. i know he's trying hard to finish his studies and i know his real life hasn't even started and that's why i'm doing all i can with what i have to start making some preparations for us to start our journey together, our first platform. i am working hard on it, i am. i'm working my ass of everyday just to make sure that i'm gonna be able to pay for the house installment for the next 20 years. why am i doing this? whom am i doing this for? it's for us. it's for us to start our life together dear. i know u can't afford to buy a house for me yet, so i'm doing this for us with hope that this will not make u feel comfortable with what we've got and that you will work hard to get us a home with your own income. i want you to work hard for me. i want you to be able to sacrifice for me. just the way i do right now. i'm sorry if what i said made u feel restricted, but think about it, how do you want us to start our life together? do you want us to be apart? you're on the east coast and i'm on the west coast? what's the meaning of getting together if we spend most of our lives being apart? i want to have a very close family. so close that we don't have any secrets with each other. all these while i've been dreaming of so many things. all the things i want in life that i don't hv the chance to get it before. i want to be loved, to be taken care of. i want to the most important person in your life, the one who brings a huge impact in your life, whom you're willing to sacrifice for. i want to be that person whom u can't live without, that you'll miss every second of the day.there's just so many things that i would wanna wish for, too many that i just can't remember them all to write it here.

i'm sorry dear. i'm really sorry that i made u feel that way...

this fear..i want it to go away..

2010-08-02T07:09:00.005+01:00

i read a bad news as i browse through fb.. someone i know passed away this morning. it was so sudden, and bad. he got killed in an accident. as soon as i read about the news, i feel scared all of the sudden. Feels like the fear that's been haunting me all those time back then came back to haunt me..i hate this feeling i'm having right now...

moments i missed..

2010-04-14T14:08:00.003+01:00

hi!

finally i'm back.. after some while..

it's good to be home again :)

life's been going pretty fast, that i couldn't coupe with the time..

thought i'd be up after 2 days of rests n long sleep, but guess it failed to make me wake up decent.

btw, for those who didn't know, i just came back from doing my umrah.

went there last 24th and just came back last friday..

i was supposed to arrive much earlier, but i guess i've always had this 'fun' experiences with flights,

so i just let everything be..

i'm back..

and this time it's the 2nd time..

means that i'm supposed to be better than before...

i made a promise in front of kaabah that i'll try very hard to be better,

to try to avoid any act or speech that'll lead to any kind of sin..

i know that it'll be hard to do especially right now, in this condition.

i missed being there,

where all i've ever thought of was how am i gonna ask for forginess for every single sin that i've committed..

where most of my days were spent on reading the quran, performing the prayers with hope that Allah will forgive me and my family, and that He'll let us live longer together so that we can always perform our ibadah together, hoping that He'll hear to all that i have to say, what i wished for in life.

i missed the peaceful feeling i had sitting inside the mosque despite doing nothing but just looking at the kaabah.

Dear Allah,

i really want to be better..

please send me ur guidance so that i won't be lost..

please dear Allah..

U are the One who knows me best inside and out.

Please help me...

does anythg abt me matters to u anymore?

2010-03-17T16:29:00.002Z

seems like nobody cares about me anymore..

not my parents,

not my sister and brother,

n not even him...

i'm starting to feel lonely again..

nobody's paying attention anymore

nobody has more love to spare for me

nobody has a lil space left for me in their heart

nobody loves or cares about me

i'm all alone now

i gotta take care of myself on my own.

u're a tough girl nad!

u can do it!

i've given time time..

2010-03-16T02:27:00.004Z

what am i waiting for?

i think i need someone to talk to..

to talk just about anything, everything.

someone who's willing to lend their ears and listen with open hearts..

and be able to respond accordingly..

i guess i got tired of the walls.

can we call these some kinda rules of life?

2010-03-06T06:16:00.004Z

Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

When in doubt, just take the next small step.

Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

Pay off your credit cards every month.

You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

Everything can change in the blink of an eye.

Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

Over prepare, then go with the flow.

Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’

Always choose life.

Forgive everyone of everything.

What other people think of you is none of your business.

Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

Believe in miracles.

All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

The best is yet to come.

No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

my 'heart talk'

2010-03-05T03:01:00.006Z

we had a heart-to-heart talk this evening..

i can't remember when was the last time..

each of us open our heart and our mind, talking like grown ups..

it feels good after letting everythg out without having to talk 'loud'..

now we know what's in each others heart,

what is it that makes us act that way...

in the middle of it, i paused for a minute.

and then i said..

"i can feel that somethg has gone wrong all these while, we weren't like we used to be..somethg has changed us."

and they all agreed.

we certainly missed the past,

when we had all the time in the world to do what we want with the ones we love.

no stress,

no time limit,

no piled up work,

and its never feels tiresome.

~~~

there's just love,

full of careness,

passion,

trusts,

happiness,

undivided attention,

the sense of belongingness,

the sense of security,

knowing that we have each other's side no matter what.

everythg just seems right..

we want these back!

and i want these too with my own, in the future.

with a person who knows that 'the responsibility' weight as much as love,

whose the absence makes me count the time,

whose the presence makes me secure every time.

"love in life is a must,

but life without responsibility will end with tragedy."

are we ready?

2010-03-05T02:31:00.002Z

just feel like sharing..

ini benar2 akan memberi keinsafan kepada mereka yang masih ada nur iman dan islam didalam dirinya...

yang Allah masih belum tarik rahmat dan kasih sayang daripadanya..

semoga kita semua tersedar dari mainan dunia, insyaAllah..

(27-11-2009) Hari raya aidiladha "hari Jumaat"

(18-12-2009) Tahun baru hijrah "hari Jumaat"

(25-12-2009) Hari krismas "hari Jumaat"

(1-1-2010) Tahun baru "hari Jumaat"

(26-2-2010) Maulidur rasul "hari Jumaat"

(2-4-2010) Good friday "hari Jumaat"

(28-5-2010) Hari wesak "hari Jumaat"

(10-9-2010) Hari raya Aidilfitri "hari Jumaat"

(27-8-2010) Nuzul Al-Quran "hari Jumaat"

(5-11-2010) Deepavali "hari Jumaat"

Adakah KIAMAT sudah hampir????

Dalam Al-Quran Allah telah berfirman bahawasanya KIAMAT terjadi hari JUMAAT!!!!

Banyak² kita beristighfar dan berdoa pada Allah semoga dosa² di kita ampuni..

22 Tanda Kiamat Semakin Hampir

1. Sembahyang diabaikan (diringan-ringankan ).

2. Keinginan nafsu syahwat digalakkan dan berleluasa disebarkan melalui internet, iklan, buku, gambar, risalah atau filem.

3. Penjenayah menjadi pemimpin dan kebanyakannya jahil mengenai agama dan banyak memberi fatwa yang menyesatkan pengikutnya.

4. Perkara benar menjadi salah dan salah menjadi benar. Sukar untuk membezakan perkara halal dan haram kerana yang haram dianggap halal serta sebaliknya.

5. Berbohong menjadi satu keperluan dalam hidup dan menganggap jika tidak berbohong sukar untuk hidup senang.

6. Membayar zakat (harta, perniagaan dan pendapatan) dianggap beban.

7. Orang yang hidup mengikut kehendak agama ditindas dan hati mereka sentiasa merintih kerana maksiat berleluasa tetapi mereka tidak mampu mencegahnya.

8. Turun hujan di luar musimnya dan hujan tidak memberi keuntungan kepada makhluk di muka bumi.

9. Fenomena lelaki berkahwin dengan lelaki (homoseksual) dan perempuan berkeinginan kepada perempuan (lesbian) semakin menjadi-jadi.

10. Perempuan menguasai lelaki dengan memakai ubat guna-guna, sihir dan amalan syaitan lain.

11. Anak-anak mengingkari dan menderhaka ibu bapa (ibu bapa menjadi kuli dan anak menjadi tuan).

12. Kawan baik dilayan dengan kasar, manakala musuh diberi layanan baik. Kawan disangka lawan dan musuh dianggap sahabat serta memusuhi orang yang mengajak berbuat kebaikan.

13. Dosa dipandang ringan malah bangga melakukannya seperti zina, minum arak, bergaul bebas antara lelaki dan perempuan, meninggalkan sembahyang, mendedahkan aurat dan berjudi.

14. Masjid dihias indah tetapi kosong, terpulau, berkunci dan banyak berlaku kecurian barang masjid yang berharga.

15. Ramai yang sembahyang tetapi munafik dan berpura-pura. Di dalam sembahyang berjanji akan mengikut suruhan Allah tetapi di luar sembahyang melanggar perintahNya,

16. Akan datang golongan manusia dari Barat menguasai mereka yang lemah (iman) dan ramai terpengaruh dengannya seperti mengikut cara mereka berpakaian, bergaul dan suka berpesta.

17. Al-Quran dicetak dengan indah tetapi hanya dijadikan perhiasan dan jarang dibaca serta diamalkan kehendaknya.

18. Amalan riba berleluasa hingga orang alim pun terjebak sama.

19. Darah manusia tidak berharga, sering berlaku pembunuhan, peperangan dan jenayah.

20. Penganut Islam tidak mahu mengamalkan suruhan agama dan tidak mahu membela serta menyebarkannya.

21. Akan bertambah banyak penyanyi wanita (wanita yang tidak beriman adalah senjata syaitan yang baik).

22. Ramai orang kaya pergi umrah dan haji dengan tujuan melancong, yang sederhana pergi untuk berniaga dan yang miskin bermaksud meminta sedekah.

Dunia Di Penghujung Nyawa

1) Penaklukan Baitulmuqaddis.

Dari Auf b. Malik r.a. katanya,Rasulullah s.a.w telah bersabda:

'Aku menghitung 6 perkara menjelang hari kiamat.'Baginda menyebutkan salah 1 diantaranya, iaitu penaklukan Baitulmuqaddis. '
- Sahih Bukhari

~ dah jadi dah...

2) Zina bermaharajalela.

'Dan tinggallah manusia2 yang buruk, yang seenaknya melakukan
persetubuhan seperti himar (keldai). Maka pada zaman mereka inilah kiamat akan datang.'- Sahih Muslim

~ dah nampak dah...

3) Bermaharajalela alat muzik.

'Pada akhir zaman akan terjadi tanah runtuh, rusuhan & perubahan muka'. Ada yang bertanya kepada Rasulullah;

'Wahai Rasulullah bila hal ini terjadi?'Baginda menjawab: 'Apabila telah bermaharajalela bunyian(muzik) & penyanyi² wanita'- Ibnu Majah

~ Mentor, Malaysian Idol, Akademi Fantasia, Anugerah Muzik...

4) Menghias masjid & membanggakannya.

'Di antara tanda2 telah dekatnya kiamat ialah manusia bermegahan dalam mendirikan masjid'- Riwayat Nasai..

~ memang dah nampak dah...

5) Munculnya kekejian, memutuskan kerabat & hubungan dengan tetangga tidak baik.

'Tidak akan datang kiamat sehingga banyak perbuatan & perkataan keji, memutuskan hubungan silaturahim & sikap yang buruk dalam
tetangga.'- Riwayat Ahmad dan Hakim.

~ ada anak tak mengaku ada mak/bapak pasal malu......

6) Ramai orang soleh meninggal dunia.

'Tidak akan datang hari kiamat sehingga Allah mengambil orang2 yang baik& ahli agama di muka bumi, maka tiada yang tinggal padanya kecuali orang2 yang hina & buruk yang tidak mengetahui yang makruf dan tidak mengingkari kemungkaran' - Riwayat Ahmad

~ boleh kira berapa jer para ulama'yg tinggal...

7) Orang yang hina mendapat kedudukan terhormat.

'Di antara tanda semakin dekatnya kiamat ialah dunia akan dikuasai oleh Luka'bin Luka'(orang yang ***** & hina).
Maka orang yang paling baik ketika itu ialah orang yang beriman yang diapit oleh 2 orang mulia'- Riwayat Thabrani

~ George Bush, Ariel
Sharon & kat Malaysiapun ada....

8) Mengucapkan salam kepada orang yang dikenalnya sahaja.

'Sesungguhnya di antara tanda2 telah dekatnya hari kiamat ialah manusia tidak mahu mengucapkan salam kepada orang lain kecuali yang dikenalnya saja.'- Riwayat Ahmad

~ jiran sesama islam pon tak bertegur sapa...

9) Banyak wanita yang berpakaian tetapi hakikatnya telanjang.

Diriwayatkan dari Abu Hurairah r.a. 'Di antara anda² telah hari kiamat ialah akan muncul pakaian² wanita & apabila mereka memakainya keadaannya seperti telanjang'.

~ fesyen zaman skarang (tube, spaghetti strap, g-string etc..)...

10) Bulan sabit kelihatan besar.

'Di antara tanda2 telah dekatnya hari kiamat ialah menggelembung (membesarnya) bulan sabit.'- Riwayat Thabrani

~ tak caya gi tengok....

11) Banyak dusta & tidak tepat dalam menyampaikan berita.

'Pada akhir zaman akan muncul pembohong2 besar yang datang kepadamu dengan membawa berita2 yang belum pernah kamu dengar & belum pernah didengar oleh bapa2 kamu sebelumnya, kerana itu jauhkanlah dirimu dari mereka agar mereka tidak menyesatkanmu & memfitnahmu' - Sahih Muslim

~ Siaran TV kerajaan dan swasta, akhbar2 harian & majalah² yg popular skarang nie......

12) Banyak saksi palsu & menyimpan kesaksian yang benar.

'Sesungguhnya sebelum datang nya hari kiamat akan banyak
kesaksian palsu & disembunyikan kesaksian yang benar.'-Riwayat Ahmad

~ tengok kes peperangan Iraq ...

13) Negara Arab menjadi padangrumput & sungai.

'Tidak akan datang hari kiamat sehingga negeri Arab kembali menjadi padang rumput & sungai²'- Sahih Muslim

~ Dubai dah turun salji... Mina dah kene banjir...

TOLONG SAMPAIKAN KEPADA TEMAN² LAIN!

Dari Abdullah bin 'Amir r.a., Rasulullah s.a.w....bersabda:

'Sampaikanlah pesanku biarpun 1 ayat...'

PENGERTIAN MAKSUD IMAN

- DARI SEGI BAHASA :
Yakin Dan Percaya

- DARI SEGI ISTILAH :
Membenarkan di hati, mengakui dengan lidah dan
BERAMAL DENGAN ANGGOTA

"Jangan setakat membaca tapi cuba la menghayati, jangan setakat tahu tapi cuba la mengamalkan apa yang dah tahu, jangan setakat fikirkan kebaikan untuk diri sendiri tapi fikirkan la jugak kebaikan untuk orang lain terutama orang-orang terdekat yang disayangi."

2010-02-22T01:45:00.003Z

i missed u since 2 years ago...

complexity untied

2010-01-26T22:37:00.002Z

yes, i've changed the song..
in other words, i've come to realize how 'bengong' i was on that day to post a song which wasn't even related to the current situation at that time..i was so down n weak inside that i couldn't even think properly..but insyaallah i'll try to sort everything out slowly n get myself straight n back to normal. :)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Allah,
i'm at my weakest point.
please make ease everything for me.

it's ur 25th! :)

2010-01-25T00:53:00.002Z

(240110)

HAPPY 25th BIRTHDAY BABY!
a year older, a year wiser
may all ur wish come true
Insyaallah~

2010-01-05T18:59:00.004Z

2010

this is the year that needs me to work harder

to prove that i'm as good and real

to establish my own achievemet and performance

to walk away from under the shadow that's been following me

like it or not

i realize, the neon lights are no longer shining on me

and i'm stumbling with jealousy

i know, its time to do something

and this time it's for me!

p.s: seriously, i really envy them!

301209

2009-12-30T02:44:00.000Z

2 years and counting....

praying for a happy ending :)

i love u~

i wanna live like i'm dying..

2009-12-18T02:23:00.000Z

it'll be quite some time till then..

n who knows what'll happen in between..

just hope tht i'll live long enough to wait for tht time to come ;)

so much to say,

so much to do,

so much to share,

so much to explore,

so much love to give,

god please give me enough time to realise it all...

uzbek 09

2009-11-25T21:56:00.000Z

(17 - 24 nov 09)
a week of what i call "real holiday"!
^_^

love & life

2009-11-16T21:34:00.004Z

story1

this is a real sad story....n it made me cry...hope that it'll not happen to me, insyallah..

story2

n this...is what i call true love~ :)

mmm...

2009-11-09T20:22:00.001Z

" i want you to do your best.
u tau kan your mom and your dad berharap kat u.
you know they love you rite?
i nak you berusaha gigih.
i want you to be an icon.
i want you to go further up.
i nak u naik sebagai AM yang bermaruah.
i put my trust in you that u will be successful. "

Arghh...feels like there's a HUGE burden on my back!!
...hopes, expectations, trusts...hmmm~~

i'm trying, u know...

cute! :)

2009-11-07T20:36:00.000Z

yeah, i wanna fall in love with u again!
seriously... ^_^

what's written in the "missing pages" ?

2009-11-05T05:45:00.001Z

it's like i'm reading a novel with few missing pages here n there...
hv any idea how that feels?

hmm..i thought tht it wouldn't hv any impact on me,
but i guess i was wrong..
somehow, it actually did.

life is...

2009-11-04T07:25:00.001Z

now i understand what she meant and how she must've felt,
coz i think i'm experiencing it too..
right now

and i realize that it's easy to tell others to be strong,
but it's definitely hard to be one..
but no matter how hard it is, u know i'll keep on trying..

it's just tht..
currently i'm out of my supplements :(

a photo of us waiting....
somehow, i just like it! :)

note that heals...

2009-10-30T22:55:00.001Z

"Sometimes in life u find a special friend,
the one who changes ur life just by being part of it.
Someone who makes u believe that there really is good in this world.
Someone who convinces u that there really is an unlocked door,
just waiting for u to open it.
And that someone is u my dear friend!
Hv a nice day!"

Once in a while, it's good to know that what i did brings happiness to someone's life. It's a blessing to know that there are still people out there who appreciate and treasure me in their lives. And it's really grateful to know that i'm still someone's someone.

Thanx for the sweet note dear friend! U really made my day! :)

recent illusion

2009-10-11T01:16:00.000+01:00

" Is there a chance that there might be traces of her that u carry under the surface? "

quote for the day..

2009-10-06T22:25:00.000+01:00

“Believe that dreams come true everyday…

Coz they DO!”

Or should i say..

“Dream big everyday, coz finally they’ll come true..”

Ahaha..i don’t know..

Just pick one that suits urself

I’ve picked mine.

^_^

reflection

2009-10-06T05:29:00.000+01:00

a song full of meaning...

kepadaMu ku memohon..

2009-07-18T02:23:00.003+01:00

Oh Tuhan, seandainya telah Kau catatkan
Dia milikku, tercipta untuk diriku
Satukanlah hatinya dengan hatiku
Titipkanlah kebahagiaan

Ya Allah, ku mohon
Apa yang telah Kau takdirkan
Ku harap dia adalah yang terbaik buatku
Kerana Engkau tahu segala isi hatiku
Pelihara daku dari kemurkaanMu

Ya Tuhanku, yang Maha Pemurah
Beri kekuatan jua harapan
Membina diri yang lesu tak bermaya
Semaikan setulus kasih di jiwa

Ku pasrah kepadaMu

Ya Tuhanku, yang Maha Penyayang

Ku pohon padaMu

Kurniakanlah aku
Pasangan yang beriman

Bisa memimpin aku kejalanMu

Kurniakanlah aku

Pasangan yang penyayang

Yang kasihnya padaku takkan pernah surut

Kurniakanlah aku

Pasangan yang sopan dan beradab

Menghormati kedua ibu dan ayahku

Kurniakanlah aku pasangan yang bertanggungjawab

Yang tertib menjalankan setiap apa yang diamanahkan keatas dirinya

Kurniakanlah aku

Pasangan yang dapat menghormati aku

Sebagai teman hidup sepanjang hayatnya

Kurniakanlah aku

Pasangan yang dapat menerima aku seadanya

Seperti adanya aku dulu, kini dan sampai bila-bila..

Kurniakanlah aku Ya Allah,

Teman yang Kau tahu terbaik buatku

Supaya ku dan dia
Dapat melayar bahtera
Ke muara cinta yang Engkau redhai

Ya Tuhanku, yang Maha Pengasih
Engkau sahaja pemeliharaku
Dengarkan rintihan hambaMu ini
Jangan Engkau biarkan ku sendiri

Agarku bisa bahagia
Walau tanpa bersamanya
Gantikanlah yang hilang
Tumbuhkan yang telah patah

Ku inginkan bahagia
Di dunia dan akhirat

PadaMu Tuhan ku mohon segala

Perkenankanlah doa hambaMu ini…

2009-07-12T02:39:00.003+01:00

different
oh i missed it !!

is it so?

2009-06-16T02:03:00.002+01:00

"Could you please lie to me once in a while to make me happy?"

Sometimes hypocracy does help to make u feel good and have a better perception on everything.

it would b great if...

2009-06-12T02:45:00.013+01:00

“ Live seems easy when we got someone who really understand and accept us as we are. No matter what happen outside; wars, storms or even economic crisis. It’s nice to know when we are at home someone will welcome us with a bright smile and a warm-loving hug."

sham86 - Diabetic for being too sweet and corny.

my long lost friends..miss 'em

2009-06-11T03:58:00.001+01:00

STEPHANIE GAUGHAN & JOANN SZESKO
how could i ever forget their names

they used to be my best friends 14 years ago..
i lost contact with them few years after i got back to malaysia..
i thought that i'd never get any chance to get in touch with them ever,
but with Allah's permission, i've found them back!
Alhamdulillah~

...................................................................................................................

Nadiah Othman

June 8 at 8:07pm

hi stephanie! can i ask u a question? how old are u? n did u go to martin luther king elementary for 4th n 5t grade? i'm actually looking for my long lost friend. ;-)

Stephanie Gaughan

June 11 at 3:00am

hehe i'm 24 and i did got to martin luther king elementary for 4th and 5th (mrs. bloomberg for 5th, i think.. hehe). i am that long lost friend! :) i actually still have the letter that you sent me! it's such a great surprise to hear from you :) how are you doing? where are you now? and so many other questions??? write back whenever you get the chance!

p.s : seriously, i know my msg did sound stupid..i mean, abt me asking for her age..but what else is there for me to ask? hahaha..glad i've found her back! she, the first person who talked to me and loves to hangout with me since the first day of 5th grade, who would always give me a twix bar everyday during lunch time, though i told her that i was fasting ..luv u steph :) (mrs. bloomberg huh? i thought it's ms blumberg...yeah, i missed her too! she's my fav teacher ever!)

recognize this?

2009-05-23T19:24:00.003+01:00

I actually copied this from someone else's blog n posted it here with the intention to share it with others..hehe..especially the guys..

Leave her cute text messages.

Kiss her in front of your friends.

Trust her over everyone else.

Tell her she looks beautiful.

Look her in the eye when you talk to her.

Tell her stupid jokes to make her laugh.

Let her mess with your hair.

Mess with HER hair.

Just walk around with her.

Include her in most things you do.

When she cries do whatever to make her smile.

Forgive her for her mistakes.

Look at her like she's the only girl you see.

Tickle her even if she says stop.

Hold her hand even when you are around your friends.

When she starts swearing at you tell her you love her.

Let her fall asleep in your arms.

Get her mad, then kiss her.

Tease her and let her tease you back.

Stay up with her all night when she's sick.

Watch her favorite movie.

KiSS HER FOREHEAD.

Give her the world.

WRiTE HER LETTERS.

Let her wear your clothes.

When she's sad, hang out with her.

Let her know she is important.

Let her take all the photos of you whenever she wants.

Kiss her in the rain.

And when you fall in love with her, tell her.

And when you do tell her.. Love her like you never loved before!

blog author : so gals like to be romantic? @ juz want the full attention from her boy?

me : i think the real answer is both! most girls like to be romantic n of course they'd want full attention from their boy...sometimes guys tend to forget small2 thgs as these, but actually it may be the ones tht will help warm up the relationship...I think if u really do all those written above, u'll never lose her..she'll be urs forever.. Think so..at least it'll work for me ;)

ps : i may not look like someone who's into this mushy2 thgs but the truth is i'm a great fan of this sweet2 thgs..hahaha ;p

2009-05-05T02:03:00.001+01:00

i really am a total failure!

250409...

2009-04-25T02:32:00.000+01:00

syg, u sure r the sweetest!
thanx dear!
u made me smile the whole day ^_^

big questionmark...

2009-04-19T05:08:00.001+01:00

WHY?
WHY?
WHY?

2009-04-15T00:57:00.002+01:00

"nobody could ever observe me better than i observe them..."

sigh~~

2009-03-29T03:05:00.000+01:00

R U really gonna make me wait for another 3 years?
hmmm...hmmm...hmmm...

:: heartland ::

2009-03-21T01:53:00.004Z

The first time i listen to this song, i thought it was a sad song dedicated by an x-lover or something like that..but i was wrong! i was tricked by the two lines that keeps on repeating in my head "i loved her first" n "i held her first" which makes me jump into that conclusion..huhu..

But when i actually read through the lyrics, then only i knew...it's such a sweet song showing love of a father to his daughter..i almost shed my tears after listening to it for the 3rd time..i was imagining my dad dedicating it to me..(though i know it's almost impossible that he'd ever do that)..i mean, me n my dad, we rarely share this heart to heart matters..he's more open to my sis, that i know..but if only he'd really do it for real someday, i think i'm really gonna cry my heart out..

Daddy, i know u rarely hear me say that i love you..but the truth is i do..i loved u,i love u now and will always do!

crooked..

2009-03-13T14:23:00.002Z

If anyone would ever asked me for something that best represents my daily life, i think this graph had done the job pretty well..

Indicators :
__ seen
__ not portrayed

p.s : hahaha...only those who knows me well would know what's playin' inside my head rite now...

H0ng K0ng Trip..

2009-03-01T02:33:00.001Z

So this is what i did in Hong Kong......

~departure~

~went on a ferry tour crossing between 2 parts of hong kong~

~boat ride to the fishermen village~

~hong kong at night~

~with mickey at disneyland :)~

~had fun fooling around~

~and making new friends~

~taking pictures with angie and brad at madam tussauds~

~went to the hilltop memorial~

~also the repulse bay~

~one thing for sure, i ate alot! ngeee~

~arrival in klia.."CAKK",says nadiah C..hehe~

2009-02-05T02:15:00.000Z

aku pohonkan kejujuran
Dia berikan padaku

aku mintakan keikhlasan
Dia makbulkan untukku

tapi mengapa ia kadangkala menyakitkan?

Tuhan,
sesungguhnya aku rasa sgt sunyi
aku rasa jiwaku kosong
maafkan aku jika aku berdosa
pimpinkan aku kembali ke jalanMu
wahai tuhan yang Maha Esa...

dedicated to u..

2009-01-24T01:58:00.001Z

to my dearest mohd nur fadzli..

happy 24th birthday!!

may all ur wishes come true
may u'll always be happy
may u always stay healthy
may u live long n prosperous life
may the coming days are only the good ones..

and also,

not forgetting,
good luck in ur coming exams!
wish u all the best dear~
hwaiting!~

2009-01-19T08:21:00.000Z

i did it again!!
what's wrong with me?
gosh~

i don't know when will i be able to get over this inferiority thing..
i'm just afraid of being compared to anyone, i guess...
damn it!

random note

2009-01-15T07:33:00.000Z

it hurts seeing u like that...

i'm praying for what's best for u!
take care dear~

in my head...

2009-01-05T00:55:00.001Z

hv u ever played archery before?

and if u have, while u're playing,
did u know what exactly u're targeting for?
did u focus on ur target spot before u release the arrow?
did u put an effort to make sure that it hit the target?
did u make sure that u took the right step?
did u hit ur target?
how does it feel to hit the target?

i wanna know it all..
but how could i?

since right now
i'm playing archery
with an arrow in my hand
but without the target board in front of me...

from all those other questions,
there's only one question i have the answers to..

Q : how does it feel to play without the target board?
CLUELESS
AIMLESS...
and i hate not knowing what i'm aiming for.

p.s : yes, i am problematic, and yes, i heard that.

슬픔...

2009-01-03T01:22:00.000Z

010109

2009-01-01T01:30:00.003Z

Happy new year 2009 everyone!

Hope this'll be a year full of success, love, excitement and happiness...

Wish u all the best!!

A day to remember...

2008-12-30T01:00:00.000Z

A year later...
and this is what we've become..
We've got closer,
We went deeper..
We've better understood each other,
n try to complete one another..

To that special person who made me feel so alive,
U're the 'one & only' love of my life,
I cant wait for future years to arrive
As long as u're with me, i know i'll survive...

Just wanna let u know,
how grateful i am that u've chosen me
n i'm just glad to be urs,
as i'm happy that u're mine..

Looking forward for future years with u dear!

Luv u so much mr.!

inferiority complex strikes again...

2008-12-26T00:47:00.001Z

hv i been asking for too much lately??

hv i been too greedy?

hv i been too selfish?

hv i been so annoying?

hv i been so insensible?

hv i been so inconsiderate?

hv i become insensitive?

hv i become somebody else?

hv i?
hv i?
hv i?

my baby love...

2008-12-11T02:13:00.000Z

and at times like this, the only thing that i would wanna have inside my head is HIM..

he who cures all my pain
he who listens even when i'm in vain
he who puts my mind at ease
he's one of the reasons i continue to breathe..

just wanna let u know,
without u my life feels like nothing
just can't imagine my days without u
must be dull n boring...
and with that i wanna thank u
for ur presence in my life
u've filled my life with so much joy, laughter and smiles...
thanx dear!
thanx a lot for just being U
that person whom i love...

lets just say, my head's getting too crowded...

2008-12-11T01:59:00.001Z

exam's over....AT LAST...
(like i've been studying since the last 3 months)
but anyway, feels so relieved that it's over
though i can't really guarantee that i'll pass both papers..
i've done my best, i've given my best shot..
don't know if that'll be enough or not
hmm, lets just wait n see what'll happen..
next february..count the days!

there's just so much going on in my life rite now
and sometimes i feel like i'm not having enough time for myself
just to sit quietly without having to think about anything
i thought that i'd have the time for that during my holiday in spain,
but it seems that i was even busier when i was there

imagine all of these things floating inside my head rite now....
* 50K target for hong kong trip this february..
* and at least 110K for Uzbek trip...
* my monthly target of at least 5.5K...
* passing this "so-not-very-hard" ACCA exams
* registering for AM?
* am i capable enough to hold that title?
* have i got the necessary knowledge and skill to be one?
* will i be able to handle those people?
* my daily obligation...
* appointments..
* appointments...
* appointments.....

ok, i think my head's getting too crowded...
lets just get a good nite sleep and forget about it for the time being
at least for the next few hours...heh~

hmmm...

2008-11-26T20:52:00.000Z

good, i'm stranded again...

n this time it is in bangkok...haish~~

note

2008-11-09T01:26:00.000Z

dear friends..
just a short note to tell u tht i'll be off the radar for abt a week or so..anythg just leave me a msg n i'll get back to u when i got back.thank u.

luv u~

2008-10-17T23:26:00.002+01:00

dedicated to my special someone...

just to let u know...

thank you mama...

2008-10-13T22:08:00.001+01:00

Dear Allah, the lady reading this is beautiful, classy, strong & i love her. Help her live her life to the fullest. Please promote her & cause her to excel above expectations. Help her to shine in darkest places & love where it is impossible to love..

Mama doa berkat amalan & doa anak sulung. Remember in our earlier days we used to say you spread your wings & learn to fly. Love always from mama.

131008/16:45

nur affina yanti..

2008-10-09T00:45:00.000+01:00

reading her posts these days makes me feel happy as she is..
none of those posts failed to make me smile to my ears while reading them...
sometimes it feels as if i can feel all those that she felt..

smiles

happiness

makes me eager to do the same..
can't wait till the time comes ;)
will it be the same for me?
hmmm~

lalala~~

2008-10-08T00:12:00.002+01:00

fina n her fav song~

1 Syawal..

2008-09-30T04:25:00.002+01:00

Salam Aidilfitri
&
Maaf Zahir Batin

2008-09-14T04:35:00.003+01:00

DESIRES...

Hardest thing to resists!

You really want something so bad
but you just have to control yourself
from doing/having it..

2008-09-12T05:50:00.001+01:00

today i wake up with a pair of panda eyes..
hmmm..

i'm never gonna do that again
i promise!

grow up girl!

i've learned....

2008-09-11T11:24:00.000+01:00

it feels weird and awkward to be different
it really does!

unique

2008-09-06T09:56:00.001+01:00

i just found out one unique fact about my grandma...
she actually has her heart on the right side!
most people normally have theirs on the left...
i laughed when my uncle told me about the doctor's face
expression as he tried to check my grandma's heart beat...
no heart beat???nothing!! how can she be alive then? hahahaha...
my uncle even told me how at first the doctor even
suspects that my grandma's having high blood pressure...
hmmm...wutever~
i'm just hoping that my grandma will recover faster
and i pray for her good health every single day..
may she will be able to walk again..insyaAllah~

E.R.C. II

2008-09-06T05:45:00.003+01:00

dear Allah,

what should i do when every single thing that i do
just doesn't seem right, doesn't feel right...

seriously, it made me feel bad all day
and my head always seems to be occupied
although i'm asleep...

and what's worse, i started blaming myself, AGAIN..

E.R.C.

2008-09-05T09:13:00.000+01:00

semakin lama terasa semakin jauh~

From me to u~

2008-09-02T22:47:00.004+01:00

Especially for my dearest Mohd Nur Fadzli...

There are many thoughts and fantasies
Wandering in my head.
While I dream about you,
And when I am asleep in my bed,
I wish many things.
I wish with no fear
That right here beside me
You would be here.

I wish you could tell me
in person every day
Just how much you love me.
And never would we say
to go our separate ways.
It would just break my heart
To have to know
that we were apart.

A dream can go
where a wish cannot.
A dream can bring true
what a wish never thought.
When I dream about you
You're holding my hand.
My feelings for you,
These I had never planned.

Gazing at the stars
on a dark, cold night,
I sat alone thinking about you
under the pale moonlight.
If you were here beside me,
I could look at you.
It would all come together,
That you are my dream come true.

I am smiling as I realize
That although we are apart,
It is only in body,
Never in heart.
I hate not having you here,
But I know that some day,
Fate will bring us together
And never push you away.

If I could only see your face,
If I could only feel your touch,
I'd tell you how much I love you.
Is that asking for too much?
I've been thinking about you all day.
I do that often it seems.
But I just can't help it
When you're in all of my dreams.

Meeting you was fate,
It was a choice becoming your friend.
This relationship between us
I hope will never end.
But when it comes to falling in love,
That was beyond my control.
There is no way to stop these feelings I have
Deep inside my soul.

Will you promise to always be here for me?
Always be by my side?
I couldn't explain how much I love you
No matter how long I tried.
Even though I've known you
Just a year before,
I have learned so much about you
And want to learn more.

At night I close my eyes,
And in my dreams all I see is you.
My only regret is that
These dreams have not yet come true.
I want you to be near me,
but you're so far away.
I hope you feel me in your heart,
as you travel your path today.

And so i take this chance to thank you
for all the things that u do
For you made me the happiest person alive
Whenever that i'm with you...

I luv u~

peek-a-BOO~

2008-08-23T02:39:00.003+01:00

i tried to pretend not to see all those unfainess,
but really, it's hard when u know that it's there..

people often say
Ignorance is Bliss~
but what if u just can't seem to ignore?

i know, i know,
that's my problem..

tp....sgtlah x adil!

madness..

2008-08-20T00:44:00.000+01:00

has anything gone wrong somewhere?

coz somehow i'm feeling the difference..

i wanna know the truth,

but i don't think i'm brave enough to face it.

MFQ

2008-08-15T01:13:00.003+01:00

"Imagine a future moment in your life where all your dreams come true. You know it's the greatest moment of your life and you get to experience it with one person. Who's standing next to you?" - P.S

"You're the one i want next to me when my dreams come true & you're the one i want next to me if they don't....as long as i have you, nothing else matters." - L.S

"The truth is i want all the same things you wanted, i do.....
.............and i want them with you." - P.S

"At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just not facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world, six billion souls. And sometimes... all you need is ONE." - P.S

"You ever look a picture of yourself, and see a stranger in the background?. It makes you wonder how many strangers have pictures of you. How many moments of other peoples life have we been in. Were we a part of someone's life when their dream came true or were we there when their dream died. Did we keep trying to get in? As if we were somehow destined to be there or did the shot take us by surprise. Just think, you could be a big part of someone elses life, and not even know it." - L.S

untitled

2008-08-12T00:44:00.000+01:00

" dis ms........why did it choose me?"

i feel like crying as soon as i read his shoutout...

i know he's gone through alot
i know it's not something that he asked for
but it's not something that's within our control
this is what we call fate..
and it's all in the hands of god
Allah the Almighty~

be brave
stay strong
everybody's with you
everybody's praying for you...

i need some air..

2008-08-12T00:18:00.000+01:00

im scared!
scared of what's coming..
scared of the possibilities...

does...
what's in.....
what if.......

ok, don't wanna think about it!
i'm going to sleep..

i wish....

2008-08-10T17:10:00.001+01:00

someone asked me what i want...
i said nothing, except one ( u know what it is)

but truthfully, there is something else that i truly want..
but
i didn't say it coz i know u can't fulfill that one wish of mine...

life~

2008-08-03T02:13:00.004+01:00

i know how she might be feeling..
i know what she might be thinking..
afterall, mostly we're thinking about the same thing..
LIFE~

sorry mate, i know i'm not being a good friend lately..
i promise i'll be more concerned next time...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

and so my my bro's married.
and i...
i am very happy for him..
all the while, he's been my idol since i was in elementary..
whatever he achieved, i tried to get the same..
he was the first amongst us who went into boarding school,
and i managed to follow his step a year after..
he's been an inspiration to me..
he's a good guy, a loving brother, a responsible child, a supportive cousin,
and i know he'll be a good leader to his family..
i want someone like him..no, i need one.. ;)

the first ZMG junior's wedding in history..
so, who's next?? haha~

"I think the true proof of a love is getting married. The peak of commitment. Being in love and married are totally different things. Love is about the fun, fantasy and a little commitment. Marriage requires total sacrife and being realistic. Because after all, doing the things you like to do is not love. Do what you hate to do for the sake of other is what love is all about." - Hisham

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i missed u... a lot!

unique~

2008-07-29T21:16:00.000+01:00

some day, some time...

the reasons..

2008-07-28T23:55:00.001+01:00

and it's because....

u appreciate me
u heard me
u acknowledge me
u've always been very patient with me
u made me feel that i'm important
u give me that sense of belonging
u made me feel safe when i'm with u
u filled my days with joy & laughter
u've always been there for me
u give me that tingling feeling that no one else hasn't
u made my heart pound so fast that i couldn't even breathe right
u made my world a happier place to live in
u feel the same way that i do
u are who u are
u..
u....
u........(....uhh, i'm turning red~~)

i luv u~

2008-07-24T19:54:00.000+01:00

bila aku terlalu gembira,
aku takut...

Tuhan, janganlah Kau tarik kegembiraanku yg satu ini..

growing up..

2008-07-22T02:59:00.003+01:00

while somebody just refuses to grow up,
i am struggling towards it...

life nowadays are full of challenges,
it'll get harder if we don't prepare for it earlier..
at least that's what i think..

huhu...

2008-07-18T22:29:00.003+01:00

imagine me in this kind of costume..huhu...so not me~~

i'll be attending a convention tomorrow from early morning till late night..
but that's not an issue..
the thing is, there'll be dinner at 8.30 and we're supposed to dress according to the theme set..
and guess what the theme is?

ARABIAN NITE!!

gosh, what am i suppose to wear?? guess i'll have to kidnap an arabic lady and borrow her attire for the nite...LOL~ =p

:)

2008-07-17T22:34:00.000+01:00

i wish i am as happy as fynn,
or at least like ana,
or maybe fai...

anyhow, i'm happy that they're happy..
that would be enough~

i don't wanna be a candle, i wanna be the light..

2008-07-16T07:17:00.006+01:00

i'm still searching for a thing that i really like to do. something that'll benefit me and the society.

somehow i feel that doing accounts bores me. don't get me wrong, i don't hate it, it just bores me. just imagine, you're actually calculating the bulk that other people made. And seeing the hundred thou dollar sign, doesn't it make you feel annoyed thinking "when am i gonna be able to gain that much?"urghh, it did give me a headache sometimes.

i'm not the type who's too absorbed with my job. and i'm totally far from the extreme. i don't think that i'm gonna be one of those workaholics who is 'soo into' their job and would spend most of their time at their offices rather than at home. i do care about my work though, i learn and explore new things and i'll give my best effort to finish my work perfectly but not to the extent that i would spare my weekends just to get it done. Sadly, i'm not that kind of person and i'm fine with that. Unless every minute that i spend would give me a reasonable return, then yes, MAYBE i'll reconsider. Afterall, every minute of our lives is precious rite?

being a normal worker in a company/firm, what is there to work hard for? coz at the end of the day you'll actually see other people making big bulks through your hard work. and you'll only be getting your monthly salary as usual plus maybe a lil bonus and OT. aren't you angry with that?
well, i am! (being emotional, am i?)

i wanna do something that gives benefit to the people around me, that people would one day thank you for the work you did. something that gives me the pleasure of working, with ample time to spend with my family and would still give me a good return. right now, time may not be a huge issue. but in long term, it's certainly a need.

so, after all that i've said, why do i bother to continue with my ACCA if i'm not gonna do accounts? and the answer is, it's one type of security to have a professional qualification that's recognised world wide and somehow people's opinion might change in time and i don't see that i'm at disadvantage if i were to continue with my professional paper rite?

ps: my opinion may sound a bit immature here, so please forgive me if i'm wrong.....for i'm still learning to live properly~

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

happy birthday dad!

2008-07-15T10:55:00.000+01:00

...and so yesterday my dad turned 55~

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY DAD!
(since the post is already one day late)

wish u good years ahead
may u'll always be happy
may all ur wishes come true
may ur days be filled with joy n laughter
may u live a long n prosperous life
insyaallah~

i want u to know that
i really luv u
& i wish i could be a good daughter
the way u want me to..
but all the while i've been ur stubborn child
so, 1000 appologies for that
i'll be better
i promise!

sick

2008-07-12T23:23:00.000+01:00

something's not right but i don't really know what it is..
my body just doesn't feel good
i'm losing my appetite
having sore throat
and sometimes i feel sick especially when i see something with blood on it..
i can't even watch movies with shooting scenes
it made my chest hurt so bad
i wasn't like this before
what's happening to me?
since when did my antibody turned this weak?
oh gosh..what should i do?
can i just ignore it?
hmmmm~

trying my best to keep the smile on my face these days..

four leaf clover

2008-07-09T02:39:00.006+01:00

All the best of luck in ur exam dear!
I know u'll do great!
I believe in u~

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hoping for better days ahead...

stuck in the middle

2008-07-04T17:47:00.002+01:00

the act of pretending to love can be as equal to the act of killing.
when the truth's revealed, ultimately one's soul will die.
beware of the things that u thought u did right!
when the damage's done,
u can't unwind!

surprise

2008-06-30T15:56:00.004+01:00

someone almost spoiled his supposed-to-be-a-secret-date today..he accidentally revealed that he's in KL when his girlfriend thought that he's in Perak..haishh, what happened?isn't it supposed to be a secret that we've been planning since last week?? u almost ruined the whole thing..& what's worse, u even arrived later than the time planned...lucky i managed to come up with a plan B at the final hours...fuhhh~~Syed Mohd Qayyum, u still have got a lot to learn!

when it comes to planning for surprises, i am always excited to take part..i like the feeling when looking at the happy faces, the smiles & laughter of those being surprised...it's a very happy feeling and it feels so satisfying when the thing went according to plan...i really love surprises coz to me it makes life more interesting and meaningful!

one step at a time...

2008-06-22T12:50:00.005+01:00

today's class was very exciting...
though i've came across this topic before, i've never seen it through this perspective
the importance and how useful it is in our overall financial planning..
maybe before this i'm not matured enough to think critically about how it may be useful in our daily life..but now, i'm more alert..n i realize that it all involves planning...
all in all, i think i'm starting to enjoy the class
somehow it just boost my spirit up
and it made me see things that i've never thought of before
i've got so much plans in my head and i just can't wait to work it out
me & my sis together, we made a perfect partner
and i can see how everything's gonna work out though we haven't even started anything yet..

i like the sense of dependency that we have in each other..

i think i've had enough of thinking sessions...ok, xpyh pk2 dh, buat je ape yg ptt...afterall, i've got like less than 2 years left to achieve my target...sempat ke ni?? huhu~~

250410 - somehow i feel scared to face this day...it's an important date to me...it's a dateline for almost everything...dateline?? adehh, start pun blom..xpe2, there's always hope when there's still time aite?..janji work hard, mmg boleh dapat!!

u can do it! i believe in u.. =)

what happened to the "all english posts only"? hahaha...xtau..dh x kesah dah... =p

ok, i'm off for dinner...ciao~~

Sleepin' to dream about u

2008-06-08T02:45:00.000+01:00

I’m dreaming of sleeping next to you
I’m feeling like a lost little boy in a brand new town
I’m counting my sheep and
Each one that passes is another dream to ashes and they all fall down.

As I lay me down tonight,
I close my eyes and what a beautiful sight

I’m sleeping to dream about you
I’m so tired of having to live without you
But I don't mind
I’m sleeping to dream about you and I’m so tired

I found myself in the riches your eyes, your lips, your hair
Well you were everywhere
But I woke up in the ditches
I hit the light and I thought you might be here
but you were nowhere
You were nowhere at home

As I lay me back to sleep
Lord I pray that I can keep

Sleeping to dream about you
I’m so tired of having to live without you
But I don't mind
I’m sleeping to dream about you and I’m so tired

It’s just a little a lullaby to keep myself from crying myself to sleep at night

Sleeping to dream about you
I’m so tired of having to live without you
But I don't mind
Sleeping to dream about you and I’m so tired

it's all about u~

2008-06-06T23:45:00.004+01:00

i love just looking at you
i've never said this to anyone before
and it may sound a little silly
but it's true
i'm not saying this because
you're so attractive
although of course i think you are
what i'm talking about is
something that goes beyond that
i'm talking about how
when i look into your face
it's like looking through a window
and seeing all those things
i like best about you
i love the tender, caring spirit
i see shining in your eyes
and that impish little glint they get
when you're teasing me
i like the way your smile just seems
to light up your face
reminding me of the happy way you have
of looking at so many things~~

title is not essential aite? ;p

2008-05-30T02:34:00.000+01:00

i wish i could just pour it all out, but i know i can't...
i might be thrown back at me at any time...some time...
who knows what humans are capable of..
(like i'm not one of 'em...heh~)

i missed the freedom i used to have
now i gotta work hard to earn 'em back..
i just wanna fly free~

i got this one image in my head everywhere i go
and how i wished he's here in front of me...
miss u~

restricted or being restrictive?
hurmm...need to figure it out!
**think deep

new adventure starts next week
just hope i'll do great
Ya Allah, please give me all the strength that i need to get through this..
gambatte!!

yosh~

untitled3

2008-05-30T00:29:00.001+01:00

i'll never stop till i gain
n when the time comes i'll enjoy!!!

i'll take the advice...

owh, the melody really makes me wanna dance~~ ;)

untitled2

2008-05-27T19:44:00.002+01:00

....it was just 2 months ago, n they've even got a 5 year plan....
she then looked at me n asked "so, what's yours?"
i stared at her blankly and said "well, i haven't got a clue...coz no matter how i looked at it, it all appears as a shallow street with no end"...

enough of thinkin'.....

somehow sleep is a perfect hideout~

untitled..

2008-05-25T02:33:00.002+01:00

as much as possible, i really wanna feel normality
but the situation makes it clear that it's not~

there are times when everything happens leaving me without a clue..

i take one ahead and you'll back one, and this is how i see it...

undefined gap it is....

live long vs live short ? u choose!

2008-05-24T04:26:00.001+01:00

there's this article i read which write about the things we do that affects our lifespan..i find it really interesting and i even did a checklist of what i did and what i didn't do based on the lists..if anyone ever read the same mag with same issue, then most probably you might of come across this one...and this is how it's been laid out :

You'll add a year to your life if you...

Take Vitamin C : Woman who take 300-400g of vitamin C a day get protection from heart disease which will make her live one year longer and man , who are at greater risk of heart disease, get six years' life extension from that dose.

note : ok, i do take vitamin C daily! =)

Garden for 5 hours a week : The average gardener burn 5 calories a minute. And studies have shown that those who burn 1,500 calories a week on gentle activities live 1.6 years longer than those who don't.

note : hahaha...gardening?? hmm.... anybody wanna give suggestion of any other gentle activities??

Have sex : Men who have sex twice a week or more have 50 percent less chance of dying than those having sex less often. This is calculated to add 1.6 years to the average life. But no one knows if sex have the same effect on women but studies show that woman who have regular sex at least look 10 years younger.

note: ermmm...ok..

Give blood : Giving blood reduces levels of iron in the blood. Iron is an oxidant so it increases risks of free radicals in the body. And, studies have shown that by giving blood once a year, you cut your risk of a heart attack and extend your lifespan.

note : haaahhh..i wish i could, but i'm not eligible to do that!

You'll live 3 years longer if you...

Wash your hands : Women live an average of 4 years longer than men , with our stronger immune systems being the likely reason. However, the immune system is said to have a finite live. Basically, the more germs' it's exposed to, the faster it wears out.

note : ok..i wash my hands pretty often...1 point for me, yay!

Aim to excel : Oscar winners live 3.9 years longer than other actors because they have an increased sense of worth and self-confidence. (hahaha, they even made a research on that? ). Aiming high everyday will have similar effects on those of us who are not in Tinseltown.

note : yup, i always aim high, but i rarely achieve those things that i aimed for! huhu~~

Drink tea : Every cup of tea is packed with antioxidants, meaning a longer life. Studies on people who had heart attacks found their risk of having another one in the next 3 years was cut by 44 percent if they drank 2 cups a day.

note : though i don't fancy tea that much, i do take it but not on regular basis...i'll try to make it a routine!

Play cards : " Elderly adults who play cards, go to movies and eat out often live nearly years longer than those who are reclusive. This is because, having fun gives your life a purpose.

note : agreed...i like having fun and all, but i just don't have anyone to accompany me.. sobsobsob T_T

You'll life 5 years longer if you...

Eat chocolate : People who eat chocolate three times a week live 5 years longer than those who say no to sweets or eat them more often. The reason is probably chocolate's high antioxidant count - it contains even more of these vital nutrients than fruit! Jean Calment, who at 122 was the world's oldest living woman, attributed her longevity to eating chocolate everyday.

note : seriously?? so now i have a good reason on why i need to eat chocolate everyday! hahaha =)

Get a morning kiss : Studies by insurance companies have found that if a husband gets a goodbye kiss from his wife he's less likely to crash his car and likely to live 5 years longer than men without the sunrise smooch.

note : ermm...ok, will definitely give my hubby a morning kiss everyday after i get married!

Practise hara hachi bu : It's a tip from Okinawa meaning 'stop eating when you're 80 percent full. Not only does this cut calories, it also reduces stress on the liver and kidneys.

note : ok, but how do i know when i am already 80 percent full?? hihihi...

Become vegetarian : Vegetarians live seven years longer than meat eaters. "It could be less fat or more fruit, vegetables and wholegrains in the diet or just karma for being nice to animals", says Samantha Calvert from the vegetarian society.

note : i' just not interested to become a vegetarian...i believe that there are certain things that god made which is meant to be human food...

You'll live 10 years longer if you...

Eat a banana a day : Bananas, raisins, and potatoes are all high-potassium foods. Potassium lowers blood pressure and this dramatically increases life expectancy. Aim for a reading of 130/86 or lower.

note : i used to eat a banana a day and i also did eat more potatoes than rice when i was in Dublin... hmmm, looks like i have to re-organize my diet lists...less carbs, more protien, fibre n so on...lalalala~~

Take up dancing : Dancers tend to live 10 years longer than other people. A mix of fitness boosting and meeting people is the main cause. But brain researchers have also shown that dancing to a choreographed routine actually builds blood vessels in the brain (due to having to think while you do it), which is also linked to longevity..

note : i really like dancing and i actually dance at home when there's nobody around...hahaha =)

Look after your looks : Taking pride in your appearance makes you live longer.

note : is that really so? the weirdest thing i've ever heard....hmmm~~

You'll live 15 years longer if you...

Control your cholesterol : Studies of Japanese centenarians have found that these people tend to be those with the lowest cholesterol. Cutting down fat to under 40 percent of your daily calories helps reduce cholesterol.

note : iyup...i totally agree with that! Lets cut the fats!!

Eat fewer calories : Based on a research, a diet of 900-1,100 calories a day can extend life up by 15 years. Animals on this diet developed fewer cataracts, had few cancers, and their fur didn't turn grey.

note : ??? ok, i think i gotta reduce my calories count!

Build muscles : Studies found that people who could do more sit-ups at the beginning of the study were most likely to be alive at the end of it. The reason : they had more muscles. " Muscles aids the metabolism of blood sugar which lowers risk of many illness", says Dr Peter Katzmarzyk, a Canadian researcher.

note : hahaha...i think i'm doing good with this one...thanx to the daily 6 laps! =)

You could shorten your life by a year if you...

Are 10 pounds overweight : It's been calculated that every pound you are overweight knocks 36 days off your life, so keep to a healthy weight.

note : oh no...have i gone overweight yet?? could somebody pass me the BMI formulation please??

Hang out with smokers : Passive smoking shortens your life, and in fact, if you spend a night in a smoky room, it's estimated that you inhale the equivalent of 4 cigarettes, and each cigarrete you smoke knocks 11 minutes of your life! you do the math...

note : owh, i hate smokers!!

Neglect your dental hygiene : Flossing your teeth reduces your risk of heart disease as the bacteria that causes gum disease also contributes to furring of the arteries.

note : hmm...this one's a new info...i didn't know that that tiny little thing inside our mouth can actually be linked to the arteries...

You could shorten your life by 3 years if you...

Stay single : Married men live up to 3 years longer than single ones. " We believe this is because they have someone to help them with stress", says Dr. Andrew Oswald from Warwick University. "Wives also encourage men to drink less and eat healthier foods". Married women have 46 percent less risk of a stroke than singletons.

note : i don't plan to stay single, so no need to worry about that.. just waiting for the right time!

Have a negative name : When university of California researchers studied death certificates, they found people whose initials spelt negative "words" like BUM died 2.8 years before those whose initials spelt nothing. Conversely, people whose initials spelt positive words like JOY lived 4.8 year longer.

note : i got a great name and i love it! short and meaningful...thanx to my parents for that... =)

Skip breakfast : People who live the longest eat breakfast. Why this is true no one knows, but eating wholegrain foods, such as cereal or wholegrain toast, cuts risks of heart disease and cancer by 30 percent, adding about 3 years to your life.

note : i rarely took breakfast...hmmm...need some change in my eating habit...

You could shorten your life by 5 years if you...

Are an atheist : People who believe in the existence of a creator or god, live 7 years longer than most people. "It's possible that the social support received helps them handle stress more effectively", says lifestyle officer of National Heart Research Fund.

note : i do believe in god...i believe in Allah!

Love to sleep : People who slept more than 7.5 hours a night, had up to 15 percent greater chance of dying in the next 5 years than those sleeping less.

note : but i love to sleep!! ok, this thing is starting to scare me...gotta take out that bad habit of mine~

Are a smoker : Well, that's if you're a man. If you're a woman, you'll die 7 years earlier coz woman tend to smoke low-tar cigarretes which make them more prone to a particular dangerous form of lung cancer.

note : thank god i'm not a smoker!!

You could shoten your life by 10 years if you...

Are negative : Optimists live 10 years longer than pesimists, says Dr. Snowdon from the University of Kentucky. It is said that negative hormones can lead to illness so the theory is that in time, this build up and stress the body, increasing the risk of heart disease or stroke.

note : i think i really gotta change.. =(

Are a loner : People who don't have friends they can call on, die up to 10 years earlier than those who do. Having at least 6 close friends or family relations seems to provide optimum benefits.

note : ok, let me do the counting...1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8.... ok, think i've got enough..heh~

Never get health checks : Mammograms can detect breast lumps 2 years before self-examination, while 50 percent fewer women die of cervical cancer now that we have screening. Having health checks dramatically increases your chance of surviving major illness.

note : i go for check-ups once every 2 years...is that ok?

You could shorten you life by 15 years if you...

Are a sugar addict : Diabetes cuts life expectancy by 30 percent - knocking 20 percent off the average life. It occurs when the body stops reacting to the insulin it produces. Aim for less than 40gm of sugar a day!

note : errrr....what's my sugar intake per day??? anybody know?

Shallow breathe : A study in the journal Chest found people who breathe deepest, live longest. Deep breathing slows your heart rate. According to nutritionist Patrick Holford, the heart only beats 3 billion times in our life - if your heart rate is 80bpm it'll last till you're 71 ; reduce it to 60bpm and it'll last till you're 95.

note : ok...gotta check my heart rate...feeling a lil bit nervous here..

Don't get your 5 fruit and vege a day :A gene has been found that increases lifespan by a third in fruit flies. This gene fights ageing compounds called free radicals. We also have something that fights free radicals : the nutrient in fruit and vegetables. So, eat more of them.

note : no prob...i like fruits and veges... =)

Let stress get you down : The 100-years-olds in the New England Centenarian Study have one noticeable thing in common - they didn't get stressed. "I'll try to make part of each day joyful, not a day of finding fault," says Marie Knowles.

note : hmmmmm....so how do i control my stress??? somebody please help me!!

Ok, that's all for now...i'm getting sleepy already... **yawn**